How NOT to Write a Novel
Why is it taking so long to write your book?
The TLDR short answer? In trying to do everything right, I ended up doing it all wrong.
I hate that “W” word. Wrong. And it doesn’t tell the whole story. The versions, the hours of editing, the evolution, the Fire Swamp of genres, agents, query letters, betas, breakdowns, and bullshit.
The full answer to the question of why it is taking so long to write my book could, quite literally, fill another book. Instead this blog series will explore the long, winding process of bringing a novel…or three…to life.
I’ll answer questions like:
What happens when you’ve been querying agents for 9 months only to realize you’ve been looking for representation in the wrong genre (face palm).
Surrendering to the market is not defeat…aka, why publishers are unlikely to publish a 170K word beast of a book by a first time author.
What it means to “Murder your darlings.” Prepare for carnage.
What the f*ck do you do when your characters listen about as well as your toddler and refuse to cooperate with your carefully-crafted plans for them? (Gentle parenting definitely won’t work here. Neither will yelling or bargaining or slamming your laptop shut).
When one book becomes two becomes three becomes…? Do you just quit? Or do you start the whole process all over again? (Face falls flat on the desk, hand scrapes across the surface to the open laptop and begrudgingly types Chapter 1 at the top of a fresh page).
Why doing the scary thing is the RIGHT thing—which is fine because writers face unimaginable horrors all the time.
Why no author should be discouraged by any of this because the nightmare of getting a book in print is the kind of fever dream you don’t want to wake up from until your Amazon search pulls up the cover you hired someone to make or designed yourself for the book that consumed your life for years, and you’ve done what so many others failed to do, and given the world the opportunity to judge your bare soul in the form of 1 to 5 star reviews. It’ll all be worth it.
This, and so much more, starting with the truth.
FIRST RIDE isn’t my first novel.